Fear of Looking Cringe Is Making You Boring

Somewhere along the way, trying became more embarrassing than doing nothing.

Upload your first song and somebody writes, “Bro thought he cooked.” Post a video and an anonymous account with six followers starts reviewing your confidence, clothes and facial expressions. Try dancing, changing your style or launching a small business, and people who have never risked public embarrassment suddenly become professional judges.

They sit safely on the sidelines, scoring everybody else’s attempts like unemployed Olympic officials.

This fear is making people boring. They do not make music, dance, post videos, ask somebody out or start the project they have discussed for three years. They wait until they are completely ready, which usually means they wait forever.

Nobody can laugh at you when you never try anything. You also never go anywhere.

Since When Did Trying Become Embarrassing?

In a widely shared clip, A$AP Rocky asked a very good question:

“How you gonna knock somebody for trying? Since when has it become not cool to try?”

That line has survived because it exposes something ugly about internet culture. Caring too much is considered desperate. Trying hard is suspicious. Showing enthusiasm gives people something to attack, so the safest online personality is someone who finds everything lame and pretends never to care.

You know the type. Every film is mid. Every popular musician is overrated. Every new business is embarrassing. Anyone exercising is seeking attention, anyone dressing differently is trying too hard, and anyone talking sincerely needs to calm down.

This person is apparently too intelligent for everything, yet has created nothing anybody could judge.

Criticism is easy because it offers the feeling of taste without demanding any courage. You can mock somebody’s first song in ten seconds. Writing your own song means sitting alone for weeks, discovering that the chorus is crap, recording it again and eventually releasing something people may hate.

One path requires effort. The other requires a profile picture.

Some Things Really Are Cringe

We should not turn this into fake inspirational rubbish where every public action deserves applause.

Some behaviour is painfully embarrassing and should remain that way.

Harassing strangers for TikTok views is cringe. Filming a fake alpha-male speech beside a rented Lamborghini is cringe. Starting arguments in restaurants while your friend secretly records them is cringe. Nearly electrocuting yourself after watching one electrical tutorial from a guy whose credentials consist of owning a screwdriver is also a terrible idea.

If your “way out” requires annoying ordinary people, pretending to be rich, humiliating your girlfriend or creating danger for everybody nearby, perhaps the critics have a point.

There is a difference between awkward effort and attention-seeking nonsense. One comes from learning in public. The other comes from treating the public as unpaid background actors in your personal content factory.

You are allowed to experiment. Other people are still allowed to tell you when the experiment smells terrible.

Being New Is Going to Look Awkward

Your first song may sound unfinished. Your first video may have strange lighting and the nervous energy of a hostage statement. Your first website might have a questionable logo, six different fonts and an About page that sounds like you are founding a new civilisation.

That is how beginnings look.

People love successful creators once the rough years have been edited into a pleasant documentary montage. They see the sold-out show, profitable company or confident performer and forget the long period when the same person had no audience and was still figuring everything out.

Nobody begins with the final version.

This becomes especially brutal with music and content because your early work remains visible. A beginner footballer can have a terrible training session without somebody clipping it, adding dramatic music and sending it around the school. Release a bad track online and that little bastard may survive longer than several governments.

You still need to make it.

The only other option is waiting until you somehow become good without producing anything bad first. Wonderful plan. Let us know when somebody discovers how that works.

People May Remember, So Own It

Here is the uncomfortable part that soft motivational advice usually avoids: people are petty, and the internet keeps receipts.

If you upload something embarrassing and delete it next month, you cannot assume everybody will forget. Someone may have saved it. Old classmates may mention it years later. A colleague may discover your forgotten rap era, complete with the music video where you wore sunglasses indoors and pointed at a car that belonged to your uncle.

Think before publishing. Keep your family, job and future self in mind. Do not post anything that would destroy your life if somebody found it five years later.

Once you decide the risk is acceptable, own the work.

If somebody brings up your first terrible song, agree that it was terrible. You made another one, then another, and eventually learned what you were doing. There is no shame in having evidence that you improved.

The shame belongs to people who have spent the same five years replaying your old mistake because nothing new has happened in their own lives.

If This Is Your Way Out, Do It

For some people, music, content, fashion, sport or business is entertainment. For others, it feels like the only route towards a different life.

If this is your way out, do it.

Do it while understanding the consequences. People may laugh. Friends may become strangely negative once your project starts receiving attention. Random accounts will speak to you with enormous confidence despite knowing nothing about the work. Some criticism will be correct, which is useful if you can separate it from ordinary hate.

Listen when someone gives you a specific reason why the song, product or video is weak. “This vocal is buried,” “the pricing makes no sense” and “you have explained the same point four times” can help you improve.

“Bro thought he cooked” is not feedback. It is digital litter.

You do not need to stop the train every time an NPC beside the tracks laughs at its colour. Keep moving, improve the engine and let him remain exactly where you found him.

Trying Once Is Easy. Continuing Is the Test

Plenty of people briefly decide that they no longer care what anyone thinks. They post three videos, receive one rude comment, delete everything and spend the next year explaining that content creation was beneath them anyway.

The first attempt is rarely the hardest part. Continuing after the embarrassment is where the real test begins.

Consistency is the lame answer nobody wants to hear. You must be willing to look inexperienced long enough to become experienced, while having enough self-awareness to improve without treating every joke or criticism like a personal tragedy. Some days require confidence. Other days require admitting that the critics were right and your idea was crap. Both are part of trying.

The guy laughing may be correct that your first video sucked. He gets an opinion. He does not get to decide whether there will be a second one.

If this is your way out and you know the cost, keep moving. You go, bro or sis.